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References from Psychology Tools |
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Step 1) Envision the persons or things that you are to forgive.
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Step 2) Tell that them why and for how long you have resented them. |
Step 3) Tell them how you have held them, that is, what you have accused them of and how you have cursed them. |
Step 4) Tell what you have done, said about them and what you have missed out of because of this resentment. |
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Step 5) Ask for forgiveness from them and say that you will no longer hold them in contempt. Keep saying this until you believe that you really mean it. |
Step 6) When the resentment returns, do these steps again. |
Step 7) If it is practical (use your judgement), go through steps 1 through 5 with the person you are forgiving. |
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Holding onto resentments leaves an undercurrent of anger that persists.
It's like a psychic parasite - you can ignore it from time to time but it is
remains there to torment you.
Just as it is foolish to leave a tick or a leach attached to the body,
so it is with resentment attached to the spirit. Resentments suck the life-blood of
freedom, love and compassion and inject the poisons of isolation, reactivity and hate.
- JBC
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Some short definitions of forgiveness |
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☺ To renounce anger or resentment against someone or something which is perceived
to have caused harm. |
A song about forgiveness |
People that do not hold resentments and forgive actually live longer. See the following articles:Psychology Today article by Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourneor the abstract of an article by Drs. L. L. Toussaint, A. D. Owen and A. Cheadle |
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